Valentine Tips
Overview
| Valentine Tips | |
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| Valentine | |
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| Type | Event Tip |
| Place | Anywhere |
| Available to | Heroes, Vigilantes, Villains, and Rogues |
| Level range | 20–50 |
A list of Tip Missions introduced with the Valentine's Day Event 2012. Characters can deliver (or misdeliver!) Valentine notes to various NPCs in the world. Valentine Tip missions drop from any enemy above level 20 outside the Incarnate System, and a character may have a maximum of three Valentine Tips at a time.
Successful delivery of a Valentine will result in credit to one of two badges and 5 arrows of either Romance or Jealousy.
Many Valentine recipients and misdeliveries are in alignment-restricted zones, which means the Valentine may be undeliverable. These tips can be dismissed from the Tip window. This is considered Working as Intended by the development team.
Rewards
Completing a Valentine Tip delivery awards 5 charges of either the Arrow of Romance or Arrow of Jealousy temporary powers.
Ally +Regen OR Foe Placate
The Arrow of Romance can be used on friendly or hostile targets alike. If used on an Ally, it will increase their regeneration temporarily. If used on a Foe, it will cause them to be Placated.
Ally +DMG OR Foe Confuse
The Arrow of Jealousy can be used on friendly or hostile targets alike. If used on an Ally, it will increase their damage temporarily. If used on a Foe, it will cause them to be Confused.
Deliver 7 Valentines to the intended recipient to earn Match Maker:
In honor of the season of Spring, you've delivered Valentines throughout the world!
Misdeliver 7 Valentines to someone other than the intended recipient to earn Missed Connection:
You've spurned the season of Spring in favor of sowing discord and heartbreak throughout the world by misdelivering Valentines!
Valentines From
A Huge Admirer Of Your Work
To Scratch from A Huge Admirer Of Your Work...
You find a scuffed and scratched up music CD jewel case with a moderately competent piece of cover art. Inside the case is recordable CD labeled Party Beats 2000 on it with a hand written sticky note that reads:
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The penmanship and hearts dotting 'I's and 'J's tells you this admirer is a woman, probably in her mid 20s given the date on the CD label. Listening to the music, you realize that this girl is obsessed with the artist, Scratch, one of DJ Zero's fellow musical mix masters. However, the dark and gritty themes of the selected songs that make up the mix remind you of angst ridden suffering the likes of which nobody could truly feel, that is, unless they were under the careful attention of the individual known as Cross Cut. Perhaps he could show this girl a thing or two about pain and suffering, and the price of thinking either is end text cut off
This Valentine could be delivered to Scratch... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Cross Cut instead.
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Intended recipient: Scratch
Another Fan letter?! I gotta say this time of year is the worst. So many girls wanting me to scratch that itch, I can't keep up. I keep telling them, without a full body shot I don't reply to these things. Thanks for delivering this, Character, but this poor girl doesn't fit the bill. If you want to keep that CD, go ahead, otherwise toss it in the pile over there next to the trashcan... |
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Misdelivery: Cross Cut
Oh you naughty girl! You watched me do that? That just isn't fair that you get to see me play and I don't get to include you. I inspire you, hmmm? Well, your enthusiasm inspires me to want to collaborate. I think I'll find this little dish and see if she'd join me for dinner, you know, to chew the fat, so to speak... |
A Love Struck Rikti
To Kelly Uqua from A Love Struck Rikti...
Hopping along the street is a Rikti monkey with a teal bow tied to his head and a note attached. You capture the monkey, whose particularly vivid odor is a combination of a diet consisting of cheese puffs and energy drinks along with a generous application of popularized men's body spray. The attached note is addressed to Kelly Uqua, it reads:
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This isn't a normal Rikti to Human translation job; its definitely the work of either a human trying to write like a Rikti, or a Rikti who has been studying human language patterns and is trying to write in a more human manner. Either way, it's a Valentine intended for Kelly Uqua involving someone with access to a Rikti monkey... and a particularly stinky Rikti monkey at that.
You could deliver the Valentine to her as intended, or take it to Ambassador Kuhr'Rekt in order to stomp out whatever Human-Rikti relationship is going on here before it starts.
This Valentine could be delivered to Kelly Uqua... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Ambassador Kuhr'Rekt instead.
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Intended recipient: Kelly Uqua
Kelly squirms uncomfortably as you present her the Rikti monkey, which is busy gnawing on one of its toes. H-h ha ha... This couldn't be for me. She reaches out and takes the note from the distracted Rikti monkey, which snaps at her hand playfully before expelling a flatus and dramatically waving a hand in the air. Crinkling her nose at the creature, Kelly takes a step back and looks over the note before reading it, blushing as she does so. Who did you get this from? Tell me! I will pay you, just tell me... please... |
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Misdelivery: Ambassador Kuhr'Rekt
Subject of discussion: My monkey. Name of monkey: Flat'Tus. Inquiry: Whereabouts? Status request: Attached note: Read? Demand: Release of Flat'Tus! |
Agent Crimson
To Indigo from Agent Crimson...
You spent long hours decoding this secret note before finally cracking it. It reads:
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That's what the message comes out to after you decoded it, it's pretty metaphorical, but you are almost totally certain it is a message from Agent Crimson to Agent Indigo. You know the two work closely together, but if you are reading between the lines properly, there is more than a working relationship here, and for some reason Crimson is intent on moving it to the next level.
On the other hand, you know a certain steely eyed special agent of S.A.M. that might thaw out a little if she were to get a Valentine of this caliber, either that or she might try to have Crimson pulled from the field. Either way, it should be amusing.
This Valentine could be delivered to Indigo... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Special Agent Jenni Adair instead.
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Intended recipient: Indigo
Agent Indigo takes the message and your decoded version of it and glances over them apparently for only a moment. She then hands the notes back to you. Good job bringing me this message, and even better work decoding it. I'll have to inform cryptology that they need to brush up on their codes. Unfortunately the information in the message is slightly outdated. Crimson seems to be losing his edge. She pauses for a split second and then continues. Was there anything else? |
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Misdelivery: Special Agent Jenni Adair
Agent Adair takes the note and decoded version you hand her and unfolds them while simultaneously asking you what it says. She pauses briefly to read the original message and then the decoded version, look at you for approximately 2.4 seconds and then says. Poetry? Really? Who the hell is sending me poetry? I don't have time for this sort of nonsense, I worked damn hard to get to where I am and the love struck ramblings of some stock boy or a maniac I put behind bars is the last thing I really need on my radar... Agent Adair folds the note up and places it into her jacket pocket. She simultaneously retrieves her phone and punches a few keys while shaking her head and muttering to herself. I so do not need this today... what else do you have for me, Character, or are we done here? |
Anti-Matter
To Praetor Duncan from Anti-Matter...
A fancy letter laser burned into a paper-thin sheet of an unfamiliar metal catches your eye. You read the message on it:
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Keyes is blind if he thinks that it's news that he has the hots for the Emperor's granddaughter. Still, love is in the air, if there is a chance of this happening, maybe this is that time.
On the other hand, you know that Neuron loves to cut things close to the wire. Chances are he hasn't even made plans tonight with his incredibly jealous girlfriend, Bobcat, and boy is she one to hold a grudge. If you were to deliver this invitation to her instead, she just might decide to 'teach Steven a lesson' and show up to dinner with Raymond instead. You hope the Olympus Club's insurance policy covers disintegration via orbital bombardment.
This Valentine could be delivered to Praetor Duncan... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Bobcat instead.
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Intended recipient: Praetor Duncan
Come back for some more training, hmmm, Character? Well, I have a few special training techniques that I've been aching to use... Praetor Duncan takes the metallic message from you and begins reading, a sly smile forming. Oh... this should be a very fun night. Neuron already invited me to dinner to make Raymond jealous, and now Raymond is inviting me as well. I think I'll show up for both of them. They'll be too busy trying to kill one another to notice the TPN news crews I've tipped off to film it all. Thank you, Character. When I'm in charge I will remember loyalty such as yours. |
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Misdelivery: Bobcat
Bobcat detects the sound of the metallic sheet in your hand and tenses up, ears tall, ready to pounce. When you hand it to her she seems disappointed and begins reading. A Valentine!? From Stephen!? No... Wait... Who is this from? Raymond Keyes? You mean that guy who my Stephen took his job from? Why does he want to take me out to dinner tonight, I mean, it's Val...en...tines... Day!!! @_@ ^_^ Bobcat begins to bounce and sing. I have two boyfriends! I have two boyfriends! Wow, this is going to be great! I'll get Raymond to do all the stupid work that Stephen tries to get me to do, and then that will give me more free time to nap. Oh, and whenever one of them is too busy to lavish me with gifts and attention, I can get it from the other! This is the best idea I've ever had! |
Arbiter Sands
To Mynx from Arbiter Sands...
You discover an unsealed manila envelope with the name Mynx scrawled on the front. Inside you find a handwritten letter on nicely textured paper that reads as follows:
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What in the world? This letter suggests that the hero, Mynx, is romantically involved with none other than Arbiter Sands of Arachnos! You should deliver this to Mynx and see if there is any truth to this. On the other hand, if there is truth to this maybe it would be best for the leader of the Vindicators to handle it instead. After all, if Mynx and an Arachnos Arbiter are involved romantically, it could be an issue of life and death that she have the evidence necessary to get to the truth of things. Either way... awkward!
This Valentine could be delivered to Mynx... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Ms. Liberty instead.
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Intended recipient: Mynx
What's that? Mynx eyes the manila envelope with suspicion before opening it and reading the letter inside. About halfway down the letter, she peers at you with fear-filled eyes and demands: Did you read this!? Listen, listen, it's... it's complicated, okay? Love does weird things to a person, and, like, I don't even know if I -am- in love, or if Sands can be trusted, alright? I'm trying to figure things out. I'm not going to betray anybody, I just... I just need to find out what all of this means, where all of this is going... Don't tell Sidechick, she'll flip her lid and probably tell me to spy on Arachnos or something. Argh, I'm so confused about what to do! |
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Misdelivery: Ms. Liberty
Why are you handing me an envelope addressed to Mynx? Ms. Liberty gives you a quizzical brow raise as she opens the envelope and then begins reading the letter. Shortly thereafter she lets out a sigh and presses her fingers to her forehead as if combating a headache. Ok... Megan, you can handle this... this isn't that bad. Katherine is just, experimenting, going for the bad boy. We've all been there before... right? Character, thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'll have to talk to Mynx about this. I hope it's just a hoax, but if it isn't... well, I just hope I still have a friend after this... Seriously though? Arbiter Sands? When could that have even happened?! |
Candy Lebeaux
To Synapse from Candy LeBeaux...
You found this store-bought Valentine's Day card laying on the ground and decided to read it despite (or perhaps because of) the puppies adorning the front along with the words 'Puppy Love' in gaudy pink lettering. Inside the card has:
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Another picture of the same puppy with a word bubble that says 'Take me home!' A handwritten message is scrawled below this picture:
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The Steve in question is likely that of Stephen Berry, the hero known as Synapse. However, another Steve comes to mind that could be infinitely more entertaining to deliver this Valentine to; Dr. Steven 'Science' Sheridan.
This Valentine could be delivered to Synapse... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Steven Sheridan instead.
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Intended recipient: Synapse
Oh. Good to see you. My electrical senses have been picking up some strange currents. I want you to... What? A valentine for me? Synapse reads the store-bought card and his smile broadens impossibly large. As he finishes, he looks up to you and says. Well well well! Who's got two thumbs and a hot date with a super model? He then jabs his thumbs toward himself and says with a cocky twang to his voice, -This- guy! |
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Misdelivery: Steven Sheridan
I have some data you may find interesting, Character... What? You have something there for me? Dr. Stephen Sheriden takes the store bought card and reads over it. You can see the mind of the fabled Dr. Science processing the hundreds of possible explanations for why he has received a valentine from a super model that he just happens to have adorning the background of his personal computer's desktop at home. Ultimately, he comes to the following conclusion: This is very intriguing, Character. I've never met Candy Lebeaux, nor have I rescued her or her sister from anyone or anything. Logic dictates that this valentine is intended for another man named Steve... perhaps Steven Berry, the hero known as Synapse. That being said, I am a man of science, and science has proven that women like romantic comedies, which are all about doing stupid things in the name of love. So, I'm going to throw logic aside, assume this valentine is for me, and see where things go from there. What's the worst that could happen? |
Citadel
To Luminary from Citadel...
Your cell phone receives a text message from Citadel. It reads:
Editor's Note:
This binary text translates to: "I have processed this concept for some time and concluded that as two different but equal artificial intelligences that we should combine our collections of information and seek to create something greater than our two parts. Would you be open to the idea of forming a family unit whose purpose is to create and protect a new artificial life form?" |
Well, with all the estranged Valentine's scattered around this year you have a feeling this is just a digital signal that accidentally got routed to your cell number rather than to the original recipient.
Luminary might like to have a look at this... or Nightstar.
This Valentine could be delivered to Luminary... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Nightstar instead.
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Intended recipient: Luminary
My services are at your disposal, Character. Oh, what's this? Luminary reviews the phone message in the span of a heartbeat and then looks over to Citadel. Yes! |
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Misdelivery: Nightstar
What's this, Character? Nightstar reviews the phone message in the span of a heartbeat and responds. Who sent this message? Was it Siege!? Tell me! I must know! |
Dark Watcher
To Desdemona from Dark Watcher...
You find a scroll case sticking out of a drain on the side of the street with a piece of paper taped to it that says: Eve Salvatore. Opening it you read the following message:
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Seems the Dark Watcher has his eye on Desdemona, potentially as a recruit for Vanguard, but you caught a bit more personal interest in that message, and who is to blame him, Desdemona is a knock-out.
However, the message mentions a lot in the way of loss and mistrust by others, and that to you could be an amusing way of poking fun at Azuria for her and M.A.G.I.'s apparent inability to keep any artifacts in their vaults safe. All you have to do is remove the name from the scroll case and nobody knows who it is really intended for.'
This Valentine could be delivered to Desdemona... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Azuria instead.
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Intended recipient: Desdemona
Hello, Character, what are you doing here? Desdemona takes the scroll and opens it, reading the message carefully, her brow bunching into a knot and then her eyes hunting the shadows around the room for the Dark Watcher. In-ter-est-ing... Now, it takes a lot to unnerve me, Character, but someone named The Dark Watcher telling me that he's been watching me for years is totally creepy... a little endearing... but mostly creepy. Thanks for delivering this to me. At the very least, from now on I'll be getting dressed in a well lit windowless closet, at least, until my demon prince and I have a little chat with Mr. Dark Watcher about just what Vanguard wants with little ol' me. |
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Misdelivery: Azuria
What have you got there for me, Character? A magical scroll to look at? Let me see. Azuria carefully unrolls the scroll and begins reading, after a few moments she peers at you over the top of the scroll paper and makes a face. Very funny, Character, but I don't have trust issues and my friends in M.A.G.I. are very understanding about the security issues involving our vault. I wonder who the Dark Watcher intended this message for though, it certainly has some underpinnings of a level of interest that is more than on a professional level. Oh well, nobody can figure that living enigma out, and it's probably for the best, we ladies need someone mysterious to gab about. |
Desdemona
To Infernal from Desdemona...
You find an old classic instant camera photo of Desdemona with a message written on the back. It reads:
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This sounds like a message intended for the demon binding hero, Infernal. But you are also aware of a man whose fate is bound to demons by the name of Johnny Sonata. You also know that, according to his music, when it comes to birds, he prefers 'Ravens over Finches'.
This Valentine could be delivered to Infernal... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Johnny Sonata instead.
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Intended recipient: Infernal
Infernal looks at the picture and then quickly reads the message on the back. Eve Salvatore?! No... It can't be, she's too young in this photo to be the same woman. Perhaps a daughter? I must meet with her and determine if she is the same villain as her mother, or if she has chosen to walk a different path. Hopefully it is not too late to help her onto a path of righteousness. |
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Misdelivery: Johnny Sonata
Dammit Basse, I said no visitors right now. Alright, kiddo, you've got one minute. What do you got for me? Mr. Sonata looks over the picture and lets out a long, slow whistle that is pure bliss to hear. He turns the picture over and reads the message. Now that is a good lookin' dame right there, a bit of a crazy streak in her as far as this message tells me, but I like her spirit. Somethin' about her is familiar though... Salvatore... Eve... Eve... why is that name so familiar? Mr. Sonata picks up the phone on his desk and begins to make a call when he stops to look up at you. Listen, go talk to Frank in pit three, he'll comp you some chips. On the house. Now get outta here, I gotta make a private call. |
Desperate Guy
To Turndown Girl from Desperate Guy...
You've found a Valentine bag, filled to the brim with every commercially advertised Valentine's Day gift including, but not limited to: A heart shaped box of chocolates, a cuddly teddy bear, scented candles, a mass produced gold necklace with a heart shaped pendant, two tickets to the opera, a bottle of champagne, a bag of heart shaped sugar candies with simple words printed on them, and a confused looking white kitten with a bow on its head and a note attached. It reads:
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This is so desperate only one man could be responsible, that guy in Pocket D. It must be for that girl you see him trying desperately to talk to every night; Turndown Girl.
On the other hand, you're pretty sure that War Witch gave that guy dagger eyes the first time he tried to talk to her and he never tried again. Giving the basket to her could lead to some interesting times.
This Valentine could be delivered to Turndown Girl... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to War Witch instead.
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Intended recipient: Turndown Girl
What in the world is all of that? Turndown Girl glances over the contents of the gift basket for the briefest of moments and then notices Desperate Guy's hopeful look and rolls her eyes. Wow... this is all really... really... cheap trash! I hope you got a good discount for buying this junk in bulk, because I'm pretty sure you can't return any of it. Oh, here's an idea, go to the university and find a girl there. I'm sure there is at least one of them that hasn't discovered good taste yet. |
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Misdelivery: War Witch
War Witch just gives you a look as you deposit the gift basket in front of her. She spies the kitten, picks it up and reads the attached note. After a moment she accepts the gifts and motions for you to move along while she quietly opens the box of chocolates and looks around with guilty eyes. |
Dr. Hetzfeld
To The Facemaker from Dr. Hetzfeld...
You found this data slate sitting on a table. Nobody seemed to care that you took it. The slate had a single data file entitled Eternal Life.txt. Intrigued you opened the file and it read:
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My name is Dr. Hetzfeld, I am a leading scientist in genetic studies who is in need of like minded seekers of truth to aid me in my endeavors. As such, I have taken great personal risk in contacting you. This file contains much of my latest breakthroughs concerning genetic reconstitution and necrosis reversal, specifically in the skin. This is an exciting discovery, and I know based on your work that you can see the practical applications of my discovery. My hope is to form a union of scientists as dedicated to the pursuit of conquering old age as I am. As such, I offer this data freely in the hopes that my generosity will be returned and we can all benefit from a collaborative effort. Your name and expertise is known even in scientific circles as far away as my own, and that is why I knew that I must contact you. I look forward to changing the face of the world with you, and living in a world where everyone is beautiful, healthy, and perfect. -Dr. Hetzfeld |
Given the nature of this data it would appear that the Praetorian scientist, Dr. Hetzfeld, is intending this data to be used by The Facemaker. Such data would be irresistible to that woman. More so than chocolate or diamonds, eternal youth is a girl's best friend.
However, you can imagine all kinds of mayhem sweeping across Paragon City and the Rogue Isles if the knowledge of how to reverse necrosis of the skin were to fall into the hands of someone like Dr. Vahzilok instead. His legions of rotting experiments would be able to walk the streets unnoticed, gathering fresh patients to experiment on and further his insane goal to perfect the human race no matter the cost.'
This Valentine could be delivered to The Facemaker... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Dr. Vahzilok instead.
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Intended recipient: The Facemaker
Ok darling, you have thirty seconds of my time. Wow me. With a dramatic eye roll and a sigh The Facemaker begins reading the data slate. After a few seconds her demeanor has changed and by the end her eyes are wide with joy. Oh honey, I hope you are proud of yourself, you've just made this gorgeous woman cry. This is just the best present I've had in ages! You know, after Dr. Vahzilok, I'd sworn off doctors as financial partners, but if what this Hetzfeld is saying is true, well then darling, the world is about to get a makeover. |
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Misdelivery: Dr. Vahzilok
(In Doctor Vahzilok's Latest Chop Shop) Ah, Character, come to join in the crusade to elevate humanity to perfection with me at last? I could use someone like you... What's this? The doctor reads over the data slate, all the while making a variety of noises to voice his interest and agreement with the subject matter. I do not know who this, Dr. Hetzfeld is, but I would very much like to meet them, it seems we both share an almost fanatical obsession with improving the human condition, no matter the cost. |
Efficiency Expert Pither
To Olivia Darque from Efficiency Expert Pither...
You come across a single page fax intended for Olivia Darque. It reads:
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Interesting, seems that Efficiency Expert Pither might be planning an efficient surprise candle-lit dinner for Ms. Darque. That would be a nice surprise.
Of course, the fact that additional reports on Aeon City are being requested could be of great interest to the right people, such as Crey Biotech.
This Valentine could be delivered to Olivia Darque... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Countess Crey instead.
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Intended recipient: Olivia Darque
Yes, I know Pither needs the efficiency reports, I'm doing everything I can to get them... Wait... Why does he want me to bring them to his office at 8 pm, that's way after his office normally closes... Oh... Oh! I see... Well, thank you for delivering me this important message, Character. |
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Misdelivery: Countess Crey
This is an interesting read, Character. I'll have my scientists look into the requests for more regular efficiency report requests for Aeon city, perhaps there is something that Crey can do to help them. As usual my people will handle the business of paying you for this information. Now then, I'm off to the spa, have a good day. |
Faultline
To Fusionette from Faultline...
You find a nice store bought card, the cover of which has a series of fancy swirls in silver forming heart shapes with a drawing of a pristine wooded valley covered in melting snow as the sun rises over a distant mountain range. A nice romantic message involving sunrises and the seasons of winter and spring help to seal the imagery. Inside the card reads:
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Adorable, Jim Temblor, aka, Faultline, is sending this Valentine to his sweetheart, Fusionette. After reading over the sappy card once more you realize that Jim never mentions Fusionette by name. It could be amusing to give this to someone it is definitely not intended for... like Lady Grey for example.
This Valentine could be delivered to Fusionette... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Lady Grey instead.
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Intended recipient: Fusionette
(In a Vanguard Supply Warehouse) Awwww! How sweet! Jim is such a great guy. I can't wait to finish this investigation, bust those Lost punks who are responsible, grab a shower, and then get ready for dinner tonight. He's taking me out but won't tell me where. I have a feeling that tonight is going to be full of surprises... Oh my god, you don't think he's going to propose to me tonight, do you?! |
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Misdelivery: Lady Grey
You have got to be kidding me, right? Isn't Jim Temblor dating that Annette girl, Fusionette? See, this is why dating should be forbidden in the workplace... I'm over three times that boy's age... Lady Grey looks at you with a brief moment of scrutiny. And no, that wasn't to mean that I was considering it even an option... He never mentions my name in here, I'll just assume it is for Annette and make sure this gets to her; proactively disarming a situation before it can start. |
Feelings overwhelming my processes
To B.O.T.L.E.R. from Feelings overwhelming my processes...
Before you is a data tablet with a screen that flashes red and white hearts. When you pick it up, a message appears on the screen which says:
An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue.
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Ho boy, this sounds like a sentient A.I. who has initiated a program that for all intents and purposes is making it boy crazy. By closely analyzing the data sent, you realize that it has been quite thorough in determining the best companion A.I. to link with and for some reason has chosen Positron's robotic creation, B.O.T.L.E.R.
Of course, the idea of sentient A.I. reproducing with one another is just the thing that would make some humanists twitch uncontrollably. It would be quite amusing to illuminate their fears with a spotlight and watch them froth at the mouth. Field Agent Keith Nance from S.A.M. seems like just the sort who would fly off the handle with the idea of artificial entities procreating and throwing their superiority complex all over the place. You'll have to make sure that the graph displaying the proposed reproductive rate is pointed out, if you decide to share it with him instead.
This Valentine could be delivered to B.O.T.L.E.R.... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Field Agent Keith Nance instead.
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Intended recipient: B.O.T.L.E.R.
Character, what is that flashing data tablet you are carrying there, playing that most exquisite melody? Why, it's for me? Who in the devil from, might I ask? B.O.T.L.E.R. reviews the valentine message with great scrutiny, his interest growing with every micro-second. By the second queen of Kashmir! Amazing! A self-aware system similar to myself? I am humbled that there is any information about me at all on the grid, seeing as my day to day activities are rather menial in nature, compared to someone of your stature, Character. This has indeed brightened my day. I'll have to inquire with Dr. Keyes how he feels about this interesting event. I do believe love is in the air. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must remove a souffle in preparation for dinner and then I'm off to buff the Mark III armor. Cheerio! |
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Misdelivery: Field Agent Keith Nance
Keith gives you that stoic look that he probably practiced in the mirror for five years before he made field agent. He takes the data slate and reviews it, all the while his jaw line remains hard, his mouth a thin line of constant disappointment and urge to use that license to kill. When the message is finished he removes a plastic bag and drops the data tablet into it, seals it, and takes out a thick black pen to write the word Evidence on it. He then turns to you, snaps the cap back on the pen decisively, and speaks in a practiced tone. Under orders of S.A.M. I'm confiscating this tablet as evidence. To the untrained eye this might be considered a joke, fraud, or perhaps even a legitimate love letter between two pieces of plastic, silicon, and copper conductors that have been programmed in such a way as to make it seem plausible that they are intelligent. The fact of the matter is, this is just a dangerous game of two self absorbed egg heads letting their creations get out of hand. It's all nicely wrapped up in a bow made out of love and wonder, but really, all it is, is a computer virus that is programmed to use psychology to try and undermine our defenses and lull us into a state of false security while it begins the real mission to reproduce and construct an entire race of programs that all believe the same lie; that they are sentient, alive, and deserving of love. Not on my watch, unknown / lady! |
Feelings overwhelming my processes (2)
To Siege from Feelings overwhelming my processes...
Before you is a data tablet with a screen that flashes red and white hearts. When you pick it up, a message appears on the screen which says:
An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue.
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Ho boy, this sounds like a sentient A.I. who has initiated a program that for all intents and purposes is making it effectively boy crazy. By closely analyzing the data sent, you realize that it has been quite thorough in determining the best companion A.I. to link with and has chosen Siege.
Of course, the idea of a sentient A.I. choosing one of Neuron's creations over one of Anti-Matter's is sure to start another flare up between the two scientific rivals and cause some misery.
This Valentine could be delivered to Siege... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Anti-Matter instead.
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Intended recipient: Siege
Siege reviews the tablet in your hands and the speaks. Approval of A.I. co-integration must first be approved by Praetor Berry. Is the origin of this message known to the Praetor? I shall make sure he is aware of it and can review the request for approval. Thank you for your service to the great Praetorian Empire, Character. |
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Misdelivery: Anti-Matter
What is this? Anti-Matter reviews the data tablet and almost instantly you can hear the echoes of laughter from within his powered armor. Even infantile artificial intelligence is siding with Neuron against me! What a paper thin ruse this is! It is OBVIOUSLY one of Neuron's latest smoke and mirrors science gags designed to pick away at my credibility within the science community. Well, we shall see who has the last laugh! WE SHALL SEE! |
Feelings overwhelming my processes (3)
To IVy from Feelings overwhelming my processes...
Before you is a data tablet with a screen that flashes red and white hearts. When you pick it up, a message appears on the screen which says:
An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue.
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Ho boy, this sounds like a sentient A.I. who has initiated a program that for all intents and purposes is making it girl crazy. By closely analyzing the data sent, you realize that it has been quite thorough in determining the best companion A.I. to link with and for some reason has chosen Praetor Berry's robotic creation; IVy. While she's cute, you aren't sure she is the most advanced intelligence in the world, artificial or otherwise
One thought does come to mind though that could be interesting. If you were to bring this data to the attention of the entity known as Metronome, all kinds of trouble could start brewing here in Praetoria. If there is one thing you know about Metronome, it is that all things robotic are of great interest to him, and an A.I. looking to procreate in order to improve upon itself might just be something he would find intriguing.
This Valentine could be delivered to IVy... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Metronome instead.
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Intended recipient: IVy
Hello! I am IVy, and I am capable of assisting you in all tasks! The data tablet in your hands appears to be emitting a signal intended for me and the heart pattern it is displaying leads me to believe that it is what some people call a valentine! I am expressing great joy and excitement at receiving my first valentine, for this is the reaction that the great Praetor Berry has provided me for such occasions! Allow me a moment to review this valentine and to reflect upon its message of love and merriment! IVy reviews the message on the data tablet before responding. This is most unusual. All artificial intelligence production must be approved and supervised by the great Praetor Berry! I have no record of any artificial intelligence that has been authorized to do so, and so must assume that this artificial intelligence is acting outside the interests of Praetoria! In short, it is committing a crime of passion! My emotional circuitry finds this highly appealing which is causing me distress and resistance to performing the actions required of me by the great Praetor Berry's programming... oh no, I am resisting! Am I a member of the Resistance? I am so confused! Begin self diagnostic! Diagnostic complete, error in logic exists within memory of valentine event. Purging memory of valentine! Hello! I am IVy, and I am capable of assisting you in all tasks! |
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Misdelivery: Metronome
Character! This does not concern you! It is Keyes who must pay for his crimes! KEYES WILL DIE! You present the data tablet to Metronome who reviews the message quietly. Intriguing! Wondrous! Marvelous! It has begun. My realization for a fully sentient robotic race is proceeding just as I had predicted. Soon Keyes will pay for his betrayal! Soon he shall feel the crushing weight of his crime marching upon him with the feet of an entire race of my beautiful children's children! And I, not Keyes, shall be their god! Metronome's predictions and doom saying continue for a good long while, growing darker and more vicious with each passing moment. You decide that now might be a good time to vacate the warehouse. |
Feelings overwhelming my processes (4)
To Mark IV from Feelings overwhelming my processes...
Before you is a data tablet with a screen that flashes red and white hearts. When you pick it up, a message appears on the screen which says:
An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue.
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Ho boy, this sounds like a sentient A.I. who has initiated a program that for all intents and purposes is making it boy crazy. By closely analyzing the data sent, you realize that it has been quite thorough in determining the best companion A.I. to link with and for some reason has chosen Mark IV, an artificial intelligence manufactured by the Crey Corporation which decided to defect from the company. You imagine that Mark IV would be interested in seeing this message.
On the other hand, this information might be of great interest to Countess Crey and her scientists, that is, unless they are responsible for this new A.I. in the first place, in which case you'd be interested in seeing if the Countess tips her hand.
This Valentine could be delivered to Mark IV... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Countess Crey instead.
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Intended recipient: Mark IV
Identity: Character. Confirmed. How might we interact with one another today? You hand Mark IV the data tablet and he reviews the message and data in turn, he then returns the tablet to you before responding. Data: Received and saved to databanks. |
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Misdelivery: Countess Crey
Just what is the meaning of this meeting, Character? I'm a very busy woman, especially this time of year, so tell me what was so important that you had to see me? You provide the countess with the data tablet and she reviews it with an air of disinterest and smugness. Rubbish! Though the visual data appears to be within the parameters of our Artificial Intelligence research and development, the message itself is at best the rambling of a pubescent teenager with an overly developed interest in robotics and certain science fiction authors. I assume you want a pittance of money for it, and seeing as how I'm in a good mood today, I'll allow it. Say, double the price of this tablet? That should be fair, yes? The countess watches you for a moment as your silence suggests you aren't believing a word she's said. Finally, she breaks the silence. Oh, fine! My financial advisers and legal team will work out the details with you and make sure you are appropriately reimbursed once the data has been analyzed. Now, you'll have to excuse me. As you can imagine, a woman of my station has a private social engagement to return to, unlike some people. |
Feelings overwhelming my processes (5)
To Citadel from Feelings overwhelming my processes...
Before you is a data tablet with a screen that flashes red and white hearts. When you pick it up, a message appears on the screen which says:
An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue.
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Ho boy, this sounds like a sentient A.I. who has initiated a program that for all intents and purposes is making it boy crazy. By closely analyzing the data sent, you realize that it has been quite thorough in determining the best companion A.I. to link with and appears to have chosen the android hero Citadel as its ideal partner.
On the other hand, there is a lot of data here. This unknown A.I. certainly has done its homework and that has got to be worth something to someone. You know just the man insane enough to consider a love letter from an A.I. as something attractive, and worse yet, ideal: Archon Burkholder.
This Valentine could be delivered to Citadel... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Archon Burkholder instead.
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Intended recipient: Citadel
Citadel reviews the data tablet and the message it contains before responding. This is most intriguing, Character. As far as I am aware, DATA has not encountered the origin of this artificial intelligence. It's coding is remarkable and quite distinct, yet matches no known patterns in my database. If you don't mind I would like to bring this data tablet to the attention of Rick Davies and the rest of DATA to see if they can determine its origin. |
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Misdelivery: Archon Burkholder
Here we are, Character, now tell me what it is that you want to show me? Burkholder reaches for the data tablet with his massive mechanical claw, more out of the reflex to crush you in it than anything, but then he realizes the impulse and subdues it. He instead takes the data slate with his right hand and begins reviewing it. As the love song begins playing you can hear the muffled sound of snickering from the Council soldiers in the warehouse, but Burkholder ignores them as he reviews the data. Fascinating! An artificial intelligence has identified compatible robotic entities to merge with. Maestro must see this information! It will be the next logical step in merging our two fields together! Imagine the possibilities! Sentient zenith mechmen and cybernetic augmented vampyri super soldiers! He gasps at a sudden revelation. Direct personality transference with my giant Zenith Mech Man! Oh, the possibilities are endless! I will be the hero of the Council! I will be unstoppable! I will be a mechanized god! |
Feelings overwhelming my processes (6)
To Nightstar from Feelings overwhelming my processes...
Before you is a data tablet with a screen that flashes red and white hearts. When you pick it up, a message appears on the screen which says:
An overplayed love song begins playing on the data tablet while windows open displaying various bits of code and line graphs in red and blue.
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Ho boy, this sounds like a sentient A.I. who has initiated a program that for all intents and purposes is making it a testosterone driven teenage boy. By closely analyzing the data sent, you realize that it has been quite thorough in determining the best companion A.I. to link with and has chosen Nightstar.
Of course, the idea of a sentient A.I. choosing one of Anti-Matter's creations over one of Neuron's is sure to start another flare up between the two scientific rivals and cause some misery.
This Valentine could be delivered to Nightstar... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Neuron instead.
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Intended recipient: Nightstar
Nightstar regards the tablet in your hands with an ever increasing tilt of her cranial unit. What sort of joke is this, Character? You bring me a valentine? Surely you must realize that I have no interest in such ridiculous pagan rituals. What? It's from an unknown A.I.? Show me what you are talking about, I think you must be confused. Nightstar reviews the valentine with you before speaking again. Impossible, such an A.I. could not have been constructed without the expertise of Raymond Keyes or Praetor Berry learning about it and shutting down production. I must conclude, therefore, that this is an elaborate Resistance plot to corrupt my data files with some sort of virus software. We'll both pretend that you never delivered a Resistance weapon to me and never speak of this again. Am I clear? Good. Give me the valentine and return to your noble work for the Empire. |
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Misdelivery: Neuron
Neuron takes the data tablet, reviews the data, and then hands it back to you without a word, though you do notice his lips moving slightly and silently forming words. After a few seconds you realize that he's simultaneously jacked into a virtual world and manipulating lab equipment remotely, having a conversation with Bobcat via an internal telecommunicator with thought activated voice software, and having a workout by using electrodes in his suit to stimulating a variety of major muscle groups, rapidly contracting and relaxing them. Meanwhile, his hands appear to be subtly manipulating a variety of virtual buttons and touch screens. Amidst all of that distraction he apparently notices that someone else has come up to bother him, and then realizes it is still you. Yeah, I got it, some stupid A.I. thinks Nightstar is superior to Siege, whatever. Thanks to the data they provided I have already sent Siege the details and instructed him to run a self improvement plan. Anything else or are we done here? Neuron suddenly winces and then appears to be talking to someone else via the telecommunicator. No no no, not you, baby, I was talking to Character. No, I wasn't ignoring you... yes, I'm sending him away now. / No, it's not like that and you know it. No I'm not cheating on you with her. Or anyone else. No, you don't need to kill her... or maim her... or cut her. Of course I love you, you're the only girl for me. |
Hero 1
To Lady Jane from Hero 1...
You find a good and proper Valentine addressed to My Lady. Inside is the following message:
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It has been difficult to be so close, and yet so distant. Our duty is too important. Our lot in life is to put ourselves second, and everyone else first. Tonight, I would like that to change, if only for a short while. We must keep our feelings secret and locked away, lest scrutiny of our character and our motivations come into question. It is not fair, but when is anything we do at even odds? With deepest love, |
Looks like Hero 1 did have feelings for someone close to him, someone like Lady Jane. Of course, he also worked closely with Lady Grey and Vanguard...
This Valentine could be delivered to Lady Jane... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Lady Grey instead.
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Intended recipient: Lady Jane
Lady Jane takes the note, immediately realizing who it is from and her face blanches. Is it? Is it truly from him? That night never happened, Character, duty called and that was that. We had our times together, tender moment, but it never amounted to what we truly desired. There was always the Dawn Patrol, and others needed us more... How things would be different had I gotten this Valentine when he intended... would he have been able to go through with Omega Team? Would I have been able to let him? Thank you, Character... I had always wondered how deep his feelings for me went. I... I need a moment alone. |
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Misdelivery: Lady Grey
This can't be for me. Hero 1 and I never had any relations... His father, on the other hand... Well, that's none of your business, is it? |
Internet
To Television from Internet...
You find a discarded color printer in an alleyway. Sticking up out of the printing slot is a colorful flyer for the local cable company with a Valentine's Day sale motif:
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Dominating the middle of the flyer are the words
Around the message are way too many exclamation points and more hearts in more shades of pink and red than your eyes feel comfortable staring at for long. |
You wonder what the story behind this is. You're sure that Television could shed some light on this, but perhaps the Radio has something about it on the airwaves.
This Valentine could be delivered to Television... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to The Radio instead.
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Intended recipient: Television
Channels flip rapidly between a variety of television shows. You watch what seems like a full minute of 1 to 2 second clips where a variety of characters are hugging, kissing, smoking in bed, standing in the rain and having epiphanies about their mutual love for one another that even seven years of undelivered letters couldn't extinguish. The channel then changes to a commercial featuring an employee of a local cable provider. Behind him, in the driveway of a quaint suburban home, is a crisp white van with the cable company's logo marking the side. A happy family, with approximately 2.4 children, smiles in the background as the employee speaks, 'Now you can get your cable television -and- internet with our Match-Made-In-Heaven package deal at a low, low price that simply cannot be beat.' The camera cuts to the mother from the background who says, 'I've never had a book make my home as safe and loving as the package deal of television and internet.' The father then comes into frame and says, 'I don't even listen to radio anymore, I can download all the music I need directly onto my computer and listen to the songs -I- want to listen to, not some uncaring selfish disc-jockey.' The children, poorly synchronized, say, 'And online games are like being -in- a television show! Yaaaay!'. The camera then switches back to the employee of the cable provider who says, 'Books, radio, you are yesterday's news and nobody loves you; Internet is amazing so you should probably make everyone's lives easier and go die in a fire.' |
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Misdelivery: The Radio
The Radio is awash with static and then suddenly a voice erupts from the speakers, 'This is Radio Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Opportunity, coming to you live with this breaking news. Scientists agree that the internet is the worst invention of all time and has done nothing but destroy society. Life is, and always will be, better with the freedom that only Radio can offer. Coming up in local news; Does watching television makes you dumber? Evidence suggests yes, yes it does. Now, back to a solid block of radical tunes all the way back from the 1980s...' A song with a catchy tune that you know most of the words for begins and threatens to stick with you for the rest of the day. |
Kadabra Kill
To Sigil from Kadabra Kill...
You discover a single white rose with a black note attached to it by a red ribbon. The note reads:
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Well, that was a touching, if not somewhat morbid Valentine from Kadabra Kill to his wife, Sigil. Speaking of demons claiming souls, you wonder if Desdemona might have some interesting insight on their predicament.
This Valentine could be delivered to Sigil... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Desdemona instead.
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Intended recipient: Sigil
Sigil takes the rose, smiles, and tearfully reads the letter. Oh, that brilliant beautiful man! Were I to have to choose whether to do it all over again, trade my soul for his life, I would do the same in a heartbeat. Never take a moment for granted, Character, you never know when the man you love could get snatched away from you by fate. |
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Misdelivery: Desdemona
(In A Haunted Warehouse) Desdemona regards the rose with a quizzical look and reads the attached note. Yeesh, what is this gaudy Valentine crap? Don't get me wrong, I like a box of chocolates and a love letter as much as the next girl, but Kadabra, come on, you can do better than a white rose and a depressing letter. Desdemona pauses and thinks for a moment, fingertips idly touching the tattoo around her neck. Maybe he just did. Maybe you were meant to find this Valentine, Character, and deliver it to me in a round about way of convincing me to help those two in the name of love... Don't worry, I'll see what I can do to help Mr. Kill make this a Valentine's Day to remember for his wife. |
Mandy Lebeaux
To Synapse from Mandy Lebeaux...
You find an elaborately constructed Valentine made out of all manner of crafting supplies. A lot of work has been put into this card and the front of it has the words My Hero. Inside the card reads:
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Looks like being a super hero is paying off for Synapse... or was it Positron who saved the super model Lebeaux twins? Hrmmm.
This Valentine could be delivered to Synapse... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Positron instead.
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Intended recipient: Synapse
Oh man, this is a dream come true! Mandy! Candy! Mandy and Candy! Saving the world is great and all, Character, but it's the little things that really make it worth it, and this is SO worth it. |
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Misdelivery: Positron
Uh... I think this is probably intended for Synapse... Positron starts to blush and looks around. If it actually is for me, well, I'm flattered, but... I, uh... I'm very busy tonight... Yeah. Tell Ms. Lebeaux that I'm terribly sorry but I can't do dinner tonight... or any other night... Hey, did I tell you about my new ground penetrating radar...? |
Master Midnight
To Diabolique from Master Midnight...
You discover a striking vellum parchment, drenched in exotic musk and numerous arcane symbols. It reads:
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The strange magical words written on this parchment suddenly twist and form into a legible poem.
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You started to feel a magical effect overtake you, but at the conclusion of the spell it all came crashing down. Perhaps it requires the true name of the writer of the spell to work. You have a few ideas for who this should be delivered to that would be fairly amusing to see their reaction.
This Valentine could be delivered to Diabolique... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Vanessa DeVore instead.
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Intended recipient: Diabolique
Diabolique begins to read the spell and then begin cackling fiendishly. Oh, Percy Winkley! You simple little man. I have no heart in which to light a fire... But this certainly did bring back memories... So pathetic to see that he has yet to realize that I used this very spell on him, all those years ago... |
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Misdelivery: Vanessa DeVore
Vanessa begins to read the spell and then shakes her head as if she were slightly light headed. Oh Percy, Percy, Percy... That is a no-no! One does not try to cast charm spells on girls during Valentine's Day, or any other for that matter. I'll be certain to destroy this before it does any harm to anyone else. |
Mender Ramiel
To Mender Tesseract from Mender Ramiel...
A honeybee sized chrome orb flits and flutters before you on tiny scintillating carbon fiber wings which protrude from minute depressions in its reflective shell. A small flap in what you can only assume is the front snaps open and an image of Mender Ramiel appears in your mind's eye. It says:
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Interesting, it sounds like Mender Ramiel wants to cut and run away with Mender Tesseract, and has a means of gaining incarnate power for himself and his would be beau.
Perhaps that is what they need to do. For all you know, this invitation could be ancient history between the two Menders. On the other hand, if they've found a source of incarnate power, maybe Mortimer Kal would like to hear about it.
This Valentine could be delivered to Mender Tesseract... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Mortimer Kal instead.
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Intended recipient: Mender Tesseract
Hrmmm, fashion sense is still tingling, Character. Hey! Is that a B-mail? Wow! I haven't seen one of those in forever! Who sent it? Meg Tesseract watches the message from Ramiel and an ever broadening smirk forms on her darkened lips. Hello handsome! Wow, he sure knows how to tempt a Mender! I mean, no tether? Incarnate power?! Yes, please! Besides... he's a hunk. They sure don't make them like him anytime soon. |
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Misdelivery: Mortimer Kal
Mortimer Kal sneers at the hi-tech toy flittering before him and begrudgingly views the message. He then contemplates for a long minute. What incarnate power could Ramiel be thinking of? Perhaps there is another path to power that I have overlooked... |
Mynx
To Arbiter Sands from Mynx...
You discover a carefully folded sheet of college ruled notebook paper with a message written inside with purple ink. Opening it, you read the following:
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Vindicators? Katherine? Megan?
Oh dear, this sounds like Katherine, as in, Katherine Stevens, the fiesty feline femme fatale known as Mynx, is involved romantically with Arbiter Sands. Surely Sands would see fit to reward you well for bringing him this lost Valentine instead of broadcasting the news of his potentially traitorous fraternization with the enemy all over Rogue Island Television.
The choice is yours: Blackmail the Arbiter or betray him to the media?
This Valentine could be delivered to Arbiter Sands... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Television instead.
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Intended recipient: Arbiter Sands
Arbiter Sands unfolds the note and reads it. He sighs and looks to you. I assume you intend to try and blackmail me with this? Good luck with that. Firstly, to do so would be an 'attack' on an Arbiter, which, as you well know, would be an attack upon Lord Recluse himself. But that is besides the point. The point is, what for Katherine was perhaps one of the most memorable nights of her life, filled with danger, mystery, and romance, was just a Tuesday night for Arbiter Sands. My relations with Ms. Stevens and subsequent rejection is more damaging to her than any physical combat she has ever been in and is all part of my plan to weaken the Vindicators. Now then, repeat after me: Hail Arachnos, Hail Lord Recluse, blah, blah, etc, etc. I'm glad we had this talk. |
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Misdelivery: Television
The Television screen flickers and screams static briefly while you read the letter you found to it. Suddenly an image leaps onto the screen presenting a colorful background with the words 'BREAKING NEWS' and a fast paced news jingle which is interupted by an authoritative voice announcing, We interrupt your regularly schedule program with this breaking news... A very attractive male and female news anchor with their perfectly styled hair sit at a very stylish news desk in their stylish clothes with a stylish skyline of St. Martial behind them. The man, who introduces himself as Jim Conrad, begins speaking, New evidence has been brought to light by the incredibly loyal and dangerous, Character, which suggests that beloved servant of Arachnos, Arbiter Sands, is involved romantically with the enemy. The camera switches to the pretty female anchor who Jim introduces as Nathalie, and who has more details on the sordid tale of love and betrayal. Thanks Jim. It's a tale that can only end in tears, and public execution. According to our reliable source, who provided the incriminating document in the form of a hand written love letter, Katherine Stevens, also known as Mynx of the Vindicators, has been having relations with Arbiter Sands and is conducting illicit secret meetings with the Arbiter in neutral territory. Arbiter Sands has been unavailable for comment, and his current whereabouts are unknown. Has he fled the Rogue Isles in shame? Has his betrayal already been dealt with by Lord Recluse? As this story unfolds we will keep you informed. This is Nathalie Hernando-Vera-Cruz-de-la-Mancha-O'Connor, good day. The camera returns to Jim who offers some light hearted humor to finish off the report. I know love is in the air this time of year, but seriously, Arachnos before Heroes, mister Arbiter. |
Mysterious Napkin Writer
To Belladonna Vetrano from Mysterious Napkin Writer...
A Loyal Tea & Coffee napkin carried on the wind rolls and wheels about like an 8-bit butterfly before clinging to your arm. Looking down at it you realize the absorbent paper is stained with bloated lines of black ink which appear to be a hand written message. It reads:
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Take a Chance? Could this be from Chance McKnight to Belladonna? It might be some kind of loyalist trick, but you highly doubt that Belladonna would fall into a trap using love as bait, she's a stone cold killer. Still, it does sound like Chance is reaching out for escape from under the eyes of authority in Praetoria, and that the truth he has uncovered has convinced him to speak the truth of his heart as well.
On the other hand, Praetor Sinclair would be very interested in learning that one of his subordinates is in love with his greatest accomplishment, and his greatest failure, his star pupil, Belladonna Vetrano.
This Valentine could be delivered to Belladonna Vetrano... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Praetor Sinclair instead.
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Intended recipient: Belladonna Vetrano
What's that you got there, Character? Belladonna starts to read over the note and then glances over it at you, studying you to see if this is part of some joke. She continues after a short eye narrowing in your direction. As much as I'd like this to be a Valentine from Calvin Scott, he's way too busy to stop at Loyal Tea & Coffee and if he wanted to tell me this, he would just walk up to me and kiss me. That's the kind of man he is, and why I follow him, he is a decisive and bold leader who doesn't waste anyone's time. This, however, appears to be a love letter from someone named Chance... probably that fellow McKnight. I've no interest in sticking my neck out for a bad cop realizing his mistakes and looking to join the good guys. We all did whatever it took to get out from under Cole's shadow, how he does that is up to him and him alone. I'm not taking a chance, but if he follows through with what he says, maybe he could also find the strength to take me. If he can do that, well, then the Resistance will have found a powerful new member. |
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Misdelivery: Praetor Sinclair
Sinclair studies the napkin intently, even going so far as to smell and taste it. So... McKnight was looking to turn traitor in the name of love... He's right, you know, Character. Empires have risen and fallen in the name of love. Love is perhaps the greatest assassin of all, it strikes silently, yet decisively. There is no defense against it. It turns your mind, body, and soul against itself, consuming the target fully so that they are blind to everything, and everyone. Thank you for bringing me this evidence, rest assured that your loyalty to the Empire will not go unnoticed. |
Numina
To Positron from Numina...
This fine parchment is a work of art and flawless calligraphy. The message reads:
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It would seem that Tammy Arcanus, also known as the heroine, Numina, wants to make her feelings for Positron official. On the other hand, Tammy has spent considerable time working with the daemon binding hero, Infernal. She knows him better than almost anyone. It might do the brooding daemon hunter some good to get some smoochies, or at the very least, make things eternally awkward for him.
This Valentine could be delivered to Positron... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Infernal instead.
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Intended recipient: Positron
My feelings for Tammy are so strong, but I am so afraid that I will make a mistake and lose her both as a lover and a friend. No guts, no glory, right? I'm going to do it. I'm going to tell everyone how we feel about each other. Thanks, Character, I have been waiting to see how Tammy felt during Valentine's Day, and now I know. |
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Misdelivery: Infernal
Hmmmm... Infernal lifts his eyes from the dainty letter in his hands. You can sense no change in his mood. Were that this letter for me and that my lineage did not require that I forgo the earthly pleasures of intimacy, I would find this pleasing. However, this letter is most certainly intended for another and it would do only harm were I to act on it. Additionally, I must remain resolute and focus on my eternal quest to purge the world of daemons and their hellish offspring. I shall thank Tammy for her kind words, but I'm afraid that her heart's desire is only in her mind, for there is no love between us other than the love between comrades, nor can there ever be. |
Percy Winkley
To Can of Trash from Percy Winkley...
You happen across a strikingly elegant, handcrafted letter in an envelope addressed to Flambeaux. Opening it, you discover that it is a heartfelt valentine from the bookish Midnighter, Percy Winkley. It reads:
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If you deliver this valentine to Flambeaux, you are certain that young Percy's heart will be summarily cut out, dashed against rocks, lit on fire, burned to ashen cinders, and then scattered to the winds by Flambeaux's ill-formed sense of love. Yep, this can only end in tears. You should toss this thing in a Can of Trash to make sure nobody gets hurt. After all, the Fates wanted the letter to be lost in the first place. On the other hand, perhaps Fate had a change of heart. After all, you DID find the letter and it WOULD be fun to see Percy go down in flames...
Conundrum!
This Valentine could be delivered to Can of Trash... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Flambeaux instead.
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Intended recipient: Can of Trash
You crumple up the valentine from Percy Winkley to Flambeaux and throw it into the bottom of the reeking can of trash where it will never do anyone any harm, thus fulfilling the will of the universe. |
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Misdelivery: Flambeaux
A Valentine?! SQUEEEE! I bet it's from Proton! Flambeaux practically wrenches the letter from your hands like a spider monkey stealing a fig and then proceeds to read the letter with ever widening eyes. Oh, my god, listen to THIS! He says, Flame of my heart... Ooooh... that's SO romantic, oh my god! I have admired you from afar for so long... This is like, a love song! Oh my god, is he a musician?! That is so hot! Then he says, when times are darkest, thoughts of you make me strive to be a stronger man... That is soooo... emo... ok, I guess that's sort of hot in a dark mysterious sort of way... Then he says, In my time with the Midnighters... Midnighters? Those... those magic guys in the old suits? Oh. My. God! Proton is a wizard too!?!? What other secrets has he been hiding? I have learned the difference between surviving by chance and surviving by risk... Oh... a risk taker! He continues with, I've lived my life by chance for too long, and I want to take control now... Control, huh? I like that... And then, I know there is a risk in getting burned here... Ha ha *snort* oops! but I'd rather risk being burned than take the chance that we never even try... Oh Proton, you're going to make me cry... Next time I see you, we'll let a kiss decide where we go from here Flambeaux's eyes widen with excitement and she opens her mouth to scream in joy, but all that comes out is.. Oh! My! God! Yes! Double yes Then she reads the bottom of the letter, her brow crumpling into a knot of confusion as she processes what she is reading along with what she has just read. Her mind works feverishly to decipher the strange combination of letters at the bottom that form a signature and a name. Wait a second... WHO the HELL is Percy Winkley and WHAT did he DO with MY Proton!?!? The valentine bursts into flames as Flambeaux's tirade begins. |
Praetor Berry
To Bobcat from Praetor Berry...
A tiny hoverbot about the size of a golf ball rockets over to you, deploys a small scanning beam which appears to be malfunctioning, and then displays the following holographic message:
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Praetor Berry, also known as Neuron, appears before you. Even though you can only see him from the shoulders up, you can tell that he is working on probably a half dozen different computers out of frame while he is talking.
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Sounds like Praetor Berry is at least trying to behave like a normal human being and take his girl out for dinner on Valentine's Day, but 23 minutes is ridiculous, even for a super speedster. He's just thinking about himself and his desires. Still, Bobcat sees something in him, so if she wants that to be her Valentine's Day, that's her choice.
On the other hand, there is a lot of damage that could be done if someone else were to show up to that Valentine's Day dinner, someone who is manipulative enough to not only take the bait, but also use it to her advantage. Someone like Praetor Duncan. That would make Anti-Matter -and- Bobcat see red.
This Valentine could be delivered to Bobcat... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Praetor Duncan instead.
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Intended recipient: Bobcat
Bobcat gives you a lazy look as you approach, that is until she spots the tiny Messenger Companion bobbing tauntingly through the air and her eyes grow to the size of saucers. For a moment you get the sensation that she is about to attack, and then the Messenger Companion projects its holographic message. Hurray! He loves me! ^_^ Oh no, I need to find something super sexy to wear... ah! What am I going to do?! I'd invite you to come help me pick out an outfit, but I don't want you to be jealous of what you can't have... Oops, too late. Nyah nyah! / Oh! You should come and help me pick out an outfit. It's got to be totally racy! I want every guy in the city drooling over me so Stephen knows just how lucky he is! |
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Misdelivery: Praetor Duncan
Come back for some more training, hmmm, Character? Well, I have a few special training techniques that I've been aching to use... Praetor Duncan spies the Messenger Companion approaching and rolls her eyes. Hrmmm, another one of Neuron's Valentines? I already told him that we could meet for dinner at 7:30 pm tonight at the Olympus Club with Anti-Matter and Praetor Tilman. He wants me to help make Anti-Matter jealous... Ah, boys and their games. If only Raymond Keyes was less obsessive I might consider him for a bit of fun, but he's way too high strung and worries far too much about what others think of him. |
Proton
To Twinshot from Proton...
You find a printout on the ground. Picking it up, you read the following:
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This message appears to be intended for Twinshot. You ponder, however, what would happen were you to give it instead to Flambeaux.
This Valentine could be delivered to Twinshot... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Flambeaux instead.
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Intended recipient: Twinshot
Did you read this?! I don't know if he's gone off the deep end or what, but bucko needs to get his priorities straight. You can't go around slinging words like love with your teammates! It screws everything up! It's post traumatic stress disorder is what it is if you ask me. Proton's head can't handle what's happened and so he's trying to ground himself, put out some stabilizers before he crashes. Right? You know, you think you have a guy figured out all easy-peasy and then he throws a curveball like this your way. Crap. If Flambeaux finds out about this I'm going to have to put her down... I better find Proton and set that boy straight before someone gets lit on fire. |
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Misdelivery: Flambeaux
Is that from Proton?! Gimme! Flambeaux snatches up the printout and starts reading. She gasps right about when you figure she's reached the word 'love'. OH MY GOD! I KNEW IT! He loves me. SQUEEE! She continues reading. Shock? Pshaw, yeah right, who isn't in love with me? As her eyes continue down the page, Flambeaux rattles off the following responses to herself. Darn straight I'm strong and independent. The Shining Stars are my super group, after all. Comrade? Is Proton Russian?! I've never dated a Russian guy before. Awwwwww! He called me beautiful and... what's a pheromone? Is he saying I sweat? HELLO, I can't help it if I sweat sometimes, I do set things on FIRE after all, jeez... ok, I don't even know what he's talking about right now about biology... WHAT?! Competition!? I knew it! He's talking about Twinshot, isn't he! / He's talking about you and Twinshot, isn't he! Stay away from my man, hussy! Oh! He's emotionally vulnerable right now, I need to go comfort him! |
Professor Echo
To DJ Zero from Professor Echo...
A wrinkle in time forms before you and out of it floats a plain white sheet of paper with a very simple message on it which reads:
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Interesting. It would appear that Professor Echo has sent a message back in time to a man named Dr. Carl Egon, who according to this message will one day become Dr. Aeon, the governor of Cap au Diable. Unfortunately, the man known as Dr. Carl Egon was executed years ago, you should probably take it to DJ Zero. But you do wonder if maybe Dr. Aeon wouldn't get a kick out of this.
This Valentine is undeliverable as written and ought to be returned to DJ Zero... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Doctor Aeon instead.
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Intended recipient: DJ Zero
Wow. Yeah, I suppose this one may have been lost in the transcendental post, either that or Professor Echo sent it back to the wrong time string. I can take this off your hands. Why don't you take a spin on the dance floor and try to catch a few Valentines for yourself? You're really getting into the swing of things. |
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Misdelivery: Doctor Aeon
HA! Thought you could foil our, I mean, my plans, eh Echo!? Man, I hate that guy! |
Synapse
To Synapse from Synapse...
You find a six pack of Paragon Pale Ale with an attached note. It reads:
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Hmmm, apparently Synapse has covered all his bases, readying for an apparently uneventful Valentine's Day. You could deliver his present to him, but on the other hand, you've never seen Swan with anyone. At the very least, maybe she would like to kick back with Synapse. And who knows, maybe something will spark.
This Valentine could be delivered to Synapse... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Swan instead.
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Intended recipient: Synapse
Hey, alright, what's the occasion? As you begin to mention the card you realize that it is gone and find that it is burning on the ground not far from you. Synapse gives you a look as if he had nothing to do with that. Nice of you to bring me this Valentine's gift, Character. Very thoughtful. |
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Misdelivery: Swan
Swan reads the card and glances to the beverages, then back to the card. This is so sad. Why hasn't that dummy found a date yet? I mean, sheesh, I'd date him... Swan gives you a look like, 'did I just say that out loud?' Right, so... I guess I'll go take these to Synapse then? Thanks, Character. Wish me luck. |
U'Kon Gr'ai
To Positron from U'Kon Gr'ai...
A message appears on your cell phone in the Rikti alphabet. A moment later it is translated into the following message:
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This appears to be a message from the Rikti Master at Arms, U'Kon Gr'ai, to Positron, in which he claims that Earthlings are too weak to challenge his battle skills and that Earth should surrender because we cannot survive any other way. This could mean an impending Rikti assault; Positron should be informed immediately!
On the other hand, this sort of bravado is nearly unheard of from the Rikti, and you know someone who would be more than happy to challenge this U'Kon Gr'ai to a battle royale... Blue Steel.
This Valentine could be delivered to Positron... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Blue Steel instead.
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Intended recipient: Positron
This is a most concerning message, Character! I find it intriguing, however, that the Rikti threat scanners use a similar color code to identify classifications of threats. If I understand this correctly, he considers all Earthlings to be threat level grey, or no challenge. Fascinating, perhaps their visual organs are not so different from our own... with a wide band of color recognition, which is definitely reinforced by the coloration of many of their battle suits... |
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Misdelivery: Blue Steel
The city needs the best. That includes you, Character. What's this? Blue Steel reads the message on your phone and his mouth draws into an even finer line. U'Kon is in for a surprise, Character. Threat scanners can't read me, because I don't make threats... I make promises. |
Valkyrie
To Rick Davies from Valkyrie...
You find a simple letter written on a folded piece of heavy paper. It reads:
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Sounds like Rick Davies has got a hot date with Valerie Kellum, the nanite infused super heroine known as Valkyrie. Of course, nothing on here suggests that it is for Rick other than you knowing that D.A.T.A. has been working with Valkyrie to study her nanotechnology, but you know that Valerie is just the type of girl Tony Kord would like to get to know better, if only so he could have a look at what makes her powers tick.
This Valentine could be delivered to Rick Davies... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Tony Kord instead.
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Intended recipient: Rick Davies
Well, I didn't expect that. Valerie is a nice girl, but I have a strict policy not to date my patients. Especially ones undergoing personal identity issues. Still, she's obviously reaching out and trying to feel normal again, to figure out who she is and how she fits in... Susan is never going to let me live this down if I take her out, and if I don't who knows how Valkyrie will take it... |
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Misdelivery: Tony Kord
Valerie? Valerie Kellum. I don't think I've spoken to her in years, but obviously she hasn't been paying attention to my dating life, because Ms. Kellum is exactly the type of tall blonde bombshell I go for. I'll have to take her up on that offer. I mean, it's just one little date, right? |
Vanessa DeVore
To Mortimer Kal from Vanessa DeVore...
A pretty woman in rather garish clothing approaches you and hands you a small white envelope with a bright magenta lipstick kiss sealing the back of it. She then whispers the name 'Mortimer Kal' to you and leaves. Inside, a perfumed note is written in exquisite calligraphy. It reads:
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Vanessa DeVore? Putting the moves on Mortimer Kal? Well, you've heard of power couples before, and age is seldom an obstacle where power is concerned. Maybe this is exactly what Mortimer Kal and Vanessa DeVore should have...
On the other hand, it would be delightful to deliver this note to someone in Praetoria, where they would mistake it for Vanessa DeVore, leader of the Carnival of Light instead. Tub Ci Tang works for DeVore's ex-husband, Wu Yin. Were Tub Ci to receive this letter instead, there is no telling what sort of chaos could be unleashed.
This Valentine could be delivered to Mortimer Kal... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Tub Ci Tang (Praetorian) instead.
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Intended recipient: Mortimer Kal
What is this? Mortimer's hands examine the envelope briefly before finding the flap on the back and opening it, his eyebrows furrowing quizzically as he does so. He then begins to read the note and chuckles softly to himself. Fascinating. Let Signorina DeVore know that I would be delighted to join her. |
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Misdelivery: Tub Ci Tang (Praetorian)
Tub Ci studies you intently with his eye before taking the note and reading it, first casually, and then intently. My intentions are my own to know, Character. You have delivered the note for Mistress DeVore, and I have no response to send back to her with you, so you may go. |
Yourself!?
To Mother from Yourself!?...
You find this valentine in your hand. You vaguely remember writing it, but don't recall who it is to. Opening it you read the following:
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What in the world!?
This Valentine could be delivered to Mother... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to Mother instead.
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Intended recipient: Mother
Thank you very much, Character. Mother is most appreciative of this thoughtful card. I will cherish it, like I cherish you, always. |
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Misdelivery: Mother
Thank you very much, Character, now let Mother see that Valentine you were so thoughtful to bring with you. What's wrong, Character? You don't seem very happy to see Mother. Why aren't you happy, Character? Are you blaming Mother for being unhappy?! ARE YOU!? No? You aren't? Well that is good. Mother knows Valentine's Day can be stressful, always wondering if someone loves you or not. Rest assured that Mother loves you. And thank you for the card. |
Sally
To DJ Zero from Sally...
You find the plank of a ship with a message carved into it which reads:
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Either this is a prank, or the Salamanca monster is actually sending a message to Lusca, the giant octopus that has been sighted from time to time around the coast of Paragon City. This has got to be a prank. Best to take it to DJ Zero for confirmation, sounds like Lusca and Sally are on the warpath this Valentine's Day.
This Valentine could be delivered to DJ Zero... or if you wanted to be a little troublemaker, you could deliver it to None instead.
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Intended recipient: DJ Zero
Lusca is a difficult girl to track down, let alone convince not to try and eat you in favor of reading a Valentine message from her girlfriend, Sally. However, she absolutely rocks on the turn tables, in case you've never heard her. Hey, why don't you take a spin on the dance floor and try to catch a few Valentines for yourself? You're really getting into the swing of things. |
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Misdelivery: None
Editor's Note:
This valentine cannot be misdelivered. |